Putin’s Heroic War on the Ukrainian Nazi Grandmothers
I’m not sure what to write about Ukraine today. The poor, yet courageous, country is suffering under the shit-stained heel of a madman. The world is unexpectedly responding, but there are limits when a mafia autocrat, believing his own anti-logic stories, also has 4,000 nukes.
As of today…
I always have to say “as of today.” Tomorrow will be another horror. Three million refugees, grandmothers and children, are fleeing from missile-attacked apartment houses and bombed-out buildings just like World War II… except now there aren’t giant bombers in the sky. It’s heartless missiles fired from who knows where by unknown corrupt fingers: Push the button and sip some more vodka. Get good and drunk because this is the horror you’ve done for fascist war crimes Vlad, the guy with the funny puffy face, who sits 20 feet away from everybody.
I never like to say nice things about Trump, but at least Mar-a-Lago is downright homey compared to paranoid Vlad’s little get-togethers.
What’s wrong with the world that we can even see such monsters in a photo, a video clip, a Russian nightly newscast, pretending to be people,
When they’re actually not?
The missiles are falling on children and grandmothers as I write, and as you read this.
For what, for absolute what? What has any Ukrainian ever done to hurt Russia? The Russian Orthodox Patriarch says it’s because Ukraine is the vanguard of homosexuality. Really. Russia must kill, kill, kill to defeat such hideous moral pollution. Think about it, poor deluded conscripts of the Russian Army! You are sitting in a traffic jam on the road to Kyiv in your tank, in your armored personnel carrier, when that Javelin flies in from above and incinerates your hopeless ass, but dude, you died protecting Russia from gay pride! Patriarch Kirill thanks you for your sacrifice. Vlad has promised to give your mom and dad $45,000, too, in death benefits. (He really did.)
What kind of BS madness is this?
Actually, and you’ll be surprised to learn this, the whole “get even” thing may have started in Putin’s warped mind about a year ago, when Zelenskyy took Viktor Medvedchuk’s three Russian stooge TV stations off the air. Who the expletive is Viktor Medvedchuk?
Medvedchuk is a Ukrainian business tycoon deeply connected to Putin (Putin is his daughter’s godfather!) who apparently was using his Ukrainian TV stations to spread Russian propaganda. No one was expecting Zelenskyy, after all, just a TV comedian pretending to be the president of Ukraine, to actually have the cojones to mess with Putin’s 5th column guy in Ukraine.
But he did. Medvedchuk is under house arrest now.
I have a theory. It’s not about Nazi grandmothers being in control of Ukraine, as Putin claims, or pink leotard gay guys, as Patriarch Kirill is having some sorts of dreams about, at all.
Putin simply got in a pissy huff that Zelenskyy, a Jewish comedian NOBODY, stood up to him, the great KGB Vlad, man of no shirt horseback Russian manhood studliness. He messed with Vlad’s power, and that’s what got it started.
Maybe. Read about Medvedchuk — there’s lots — and see what you think.
OK. I’m not sure where to go from here (again). It’s Wednesday, March 16, 2022. Russia may default on its international debt for the first time since 1918 before the day’s out. The Russian stock market is still closed because, if it opens, every Russian stock will just plummet to zero. You can’t even buy a Big Mac in Moscow with however many zillion rubles it would cost now because McDonald’s and every other Western business has closed. Even Netflix is off the streaming internet air. No amount of government lies about a tiny little “special military operation” will cover for the effed-up enormity the bloody thing has become.
And here’s a good one: Russia has apparently requested assistance from China, including (I kid you not) the Chinese version of of MREs, Meals Ready To Eat, for those poor conscript fucks waiting for a Javelin or a missile dropped from a Bayraktar TB2 drone onto their incompetently led sitting duck tank columns.
Thank you, Vlad, from the mothers of Russia!
But, of course, that doesn’t stop the tanks that get through from firing on civilian targets in Irpin, from artillery hidden in a forest sending shells into Kyiv, from jets in Russia launching cruise missiles onto a target just a few miles from Poland, or from Iskander missiles, parked over the horizon and loaded with cluster bomb warheads, zooming in on a trail of post-Soviet glory to get those Nazi little kids playing in their fascist playgrounds, or…
This one just happened:
OK again, an update: Biden has signed an appropriation for $800 million in very nasty lethal aid for Ukraine (while Putin is begging China for canned lunches for his troops). Zelenskyy has also floated a compromise for U.S. and European security guarantees short of actual NATO membership that might give Putin a fig leaf way out. Let’s see what happens. Putin has destroyed the Russian economy and the country’s international standing. He also inadvertently exposed the fact that his vaunted 10 year modernization of the Russian armed forces has been a catastrophe and a lying joke. He’s managed to re-invigorate the post-World War II western alliance and its commitment to democracy and international rule of law in a way that has no doubt pissed off Xi Jinping to the max. There goes (we hope) his plans for Taiwan.
Will Putin last? It doesn’t look good for him (crocodile tears). I am guessing now that he will feel pressured by the military and spy services to declare victory with some version of Zelenskyy’s compromise, but he cannot possibly stay in power for much longer. He doesn’t, at all, have Stalin’s monopoly on terror, although perhaps he thinks he does. I don’t know exactly how they’ll do it, but one aspect, I’m guessing, is that the people in charge of domestic information control will let just enough of the truth out to the Russian people to justify their pre-existing plans to remove Putin anyway.
A little bit of truth, though, is a dangerous thing. Will it get out of hand and threaten all the other organs of the corrupt post-Soviet regime? Maybe.
Stay tuned, everybody. As Bob Dylan correctly put it, the wheel’s still in spin, and the times they are a’changin’.