James Joyce in Heaven
I think that’s where he went
I heard that one time a proofreader died and went to heaven. When he got there, Jesus pulled him aside and said, that when he came back, he would take the proofreader along, too.
“I screwed up bad,” Jesus lamented. “I really meant to say that god was sex, drugs, and rock and roll.”
The proofreader said he’d help, but “Don’t pay me in crypto.”
“What’s crypto?” Jesus asked.
“I thought you knew everything!” the dead proofreader, in newfound doubt, exclaimed.
“My wife really does know everything, but me, I’m not so sure anymore.”
But that’s another story, as they say, after we close the bar at 2 AM, turn off the lights, and drive all the drunken lost gods home, because, you know, they’re all as lost as fish trying to swim to Mars, following a kayak called Heaven.
~***~
In 11th grade, I was completely floored by Ray Bradbury. In English class, I wrote a short story emboldingly enamored by Ray’s dense and beautiful style. My English teacher freaked out and wrote all over the paper (I even think in a red pen!) “Purple Prose! Purple Prose!”
In 1st grade, when we were learning to write our names (yes, back then you got to wait till 1st grade) I wrote it in a curve, like a little smile. The teacher came by and said I couldn’t do that.
One time James Joyce fell into a well in Dublin. He lost consciousness in the long long fall, and then suddenly was awakened by a cold splash of water on his face and opened his eyes to people speaking in Chinese, which he didn’t understand at all. It inspired him to write Finnegans Wake.
~***~
Last night I had a really scary dream. All these shadowy figures were working on a secret project to combine potatoes and AI. I’m still not sure what they were trying to accomplish with it, but I think McDonald’s was involved.
~***~
A Ukrainian Jewish comedian is defeating Putin.
There’s hope for the world, even if you’ve been too shocked by all of life to believe it.
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© “John” Lesly Levin 2023
