I heard that one time a turtle decided to become religious. He started praying to the Turtle God, who, he was told, lived in Outer Space, along with his supernatural Turtle Dad, but whose Mom had never been invited.

"How will I know if the Turtle Dad can hear me?" he asked the expert on these matters, a guy named Turtle Osteen, who he had seen on TV.

"Well," the Turtlevangelist told him, "you will feel a warm feeling just under your shell, and then you can send me some money so I can buy gas for my Lamborghini."

"But doesn't Turtle Dad supply you with gas?" the poor boy wondered.

"Well, I tried using my Outer Space Card at the gas station," Reptile Osteen told him, "but they all just laughed at me."

At that point, the little green turtle felt that warm spot under his shell getting downright hot! Realizing he had really been left in the soup, he quickly jumped out, and never bothered with this sort of nonsense again.