I heard that around 2.2 billion years ago, an archaean and a bacterium were just shootin' the shit.

"What about those new fangled guys with the straight DNA?"

"Don't worry, they have to eat so much just to wiggle their flagellum, they won't get anywhere."

"But what about their advanced sensory transduction abilities?"

"What do you want to be, dude, some fucking organelle or a free being?"

"Yeah, I guess I was just freakin' out."

"Let's just get back to some good 'ol chemosynthesis, ok?"

"But what about that goddamned oxygen?"

"It won't amount to anything."