And has other useful qualities, too — One time a dick decided he’d become Enlightened. His owner, who was more interested in immediate things, was not aware what this Spiritual Dick was up to, but when the poor fellow was making love the next time, and it went on and on and on, rather than the 2.5…

Love is better — I heard that one time a mountain decided he’d rather be a cockroach. His wife, knowing him completely well, remarked, “You’ve been reading Kafka again, and your German is so bad, you’ve misinterpreted everything.” “No, I haven’t!” he screamed in his mountainous way, “I really do want to be a…

With help from a time traveling goat — I heard that one time Bodhidharma got caught in a traffic jam. …

And the danger of mailboxes — One time I decided to train my brain for success! But I gave up just after an hour. The mailman came by and left me a bill from the US Government for $100,000,000! I asked my congressman what was going on?! “We’re sorry, John, but getting your brain to toe the line looks like it’s going to cost that much. Have you considered becoming a nun instead?” “What does being a nun have to do with it? And besides, I’m not even a woman!”

A vacation story — I heard that one time a mouse decided to go on vacation in Florida. The poor mouse wanted to escape the fierce predator rats in New York City, but the rats followed him all the way to Orlando! “Ha Ha, you stupid rats!” the adventurous mouse chortled. “You don’t realize…

A perplexing travel tale — One time, I heard, 12 tigers decided to go on vacation. They caught a flight to Cuba, where Fidel Castro himself came to meet them at the airport, even though he was just a ghost by then. He gave them, as a gift, a copy of Das Kapital, translated nicely into Tigerese. “What the hell are we supposed to do with this?” the head tiger asked. “We’re just fucking tigers. We eat people, and then we go back to the jungle to goof off for like a whole week.”

Ben Franklin packs his bags — Tomorrow’s the 4th of July. I called Benjamin Franklin on my Subspace Time Link Inverter to see what he was doing . “Not much, John, how are you?” “I’m a little depressed myself these days.” “The experiment isn’t going well?” “Yeah, you guys were right. Democracies do have a time limit, and I’m worried.” “Should I come and help?” “I’d appreciate it.” “I’ll bring TJ along.” “TJ?” “Jefferson, you idiot! He has his own wall he wants to repair.” “Wow, that sounds cool. When will you get here?” “The day after tomorrow.”

Bodhidharma’s grandmother told me — When time stops, all that’s left is love, and fierceness beyond the imagination of all beings. _____________________________________________ Non © “John” Lesly Levin 2023

And touch my skin — Do you ever have a rainy day, with clouds so opaque that the Sun must heat them from above? Then coolness will protect you always. _______________________ © “John” Lesly Levin 2023